Author: Hayley Beasley Dye

The Insignificance of Romance

Posted on by Hayley Beasley Dye

 

sunset-hands-love-woman.jpgWhen I got married, I made the speech that traditionally the groom makes. This isn’t so shocking in itself, but what surprised people more is that my husband didn’t make a speech at all. He (quite wisely) left all the talking to me. Did this bother me? Not even in the slightest. I made the speech because my husband’s greatest fear is public speaking. Whereas for me, it doesn’t remotely bother me. I’d even go as far to say that I quite enjoy it. Just because I don’t have a penis, why should I sit there silently and let my husband do all the talking? Equally, the sexism prevails that a man is automatically expected and pressured to make a speech, but if a woman doesn’t make a speech then nothing is thought of it. Therefore, there was no chance that I was going to make my husband stand up and do a speech, rendering him in panic mode for the duration of our ceremony and reception drinks afterwards, worrying incessantly about the job ahead of making a speech. Nope, it was his day too and he deserved to be relaxed and enjoy it all. As did I. People understood this, but some people still thought he should have made a speech regardless. They still thought he should have stood up and made his declaration of love for me for all to hear. Didn’t I want this on my wedding day? Nah, you’re all right mate. I’ll survive.

For me, I don’t need my man to stand up and announce to a room full of people “hey everyone, I like, really love this woman with all my heart. She’s quite fit ‘n’ all and makes a mean chilli too” (I do make a mean chilli, as it happens). All I want from a man, is to *know* that he loves me without the need for it to be verbally clarified.

You see, I’m not a woman that needs romantic gestures at all. In my twenties, I thought romance was important. I wanted to be spoiled and made to feel special. I wanted flowers, surprises and gifts that he’d given a great deal of thought to. Now in my forties, I see very little importance in it all.

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Now, my husband does indeed buy me the odd treat (my favourite being when I was heavily pregnant and he brought home a Cadbury’s Creme Egg for me- I’m a simple woman) and don’t get me wrong, if a man wants to give me chocolate, I’m not going to throw it back in his face. I’m no idiot. Free chocolate is free chocolate. However, I don’t need and I don’t judge a relationship if one isn’t bestowed with gifts. For me, anyone can go into a shop, pull out money and buy flowers. Money spent and material objects are not love. I don’t need him to buy expensive jewellery to prove his love to me. A flash designer label handbag is not needed to make me feel loved.

For me, things that you cannot see or feel are love. I just need a man to be kind, to listen, to support me, encourage me, bring the best out in me. Who I know will always be my rock. Who I can rely on and whole heartedly trust. And I hope, I also provide these things to my husband in return. Chocolates, flowers and expensive gifts are inferior compared to these things.

I’d even go as far to say that I don’t need a man to say “I love you”. I’d much rather feel it, than hear it. Romantic platitudes have no soul for me. A profound connection with a man is everything. Romance is nothing, but two dimensional.

And when it comes to weddings, I certainly do not want to criticise anyone’s choice on how they want to spend their wedding day. It’s a very personal thing and what suits one couple won’t suit another. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed big, expensive weddings. They’re a lovey day out. And of course, you can have a huge wedding and still be a couple madly and genuinely in love. However, for me personally fancy table decorations, elaborate flower arrangements, wedding dresses that cost thousands of pounds and an engagement ring that costs 3 times your monthly salary (or whatever bollox that rule is) is not love. Long speeches about how much you love someone (whether it be on your wedding day, on Facebook or down the pub) is not love. The person making the speech about their love, may of course genuinely mean it and feel it, but it’s not imperative to a relationship or marriage in the slightest. Any fool can talk, any fool can spend money. Love does not cardinally prevail in these tokens. Love just is.

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On our wedding day, happy and relaxed.

Top Ten Tunes- 1987

Posted on by Hayley Beasley Dye

Every Friday, I’m publishing my top ten songs from a single year and this week it’s the turn of 1987.

For previous top ten tunes, please click on the year: 1960 1961 1962 1963 1964 1965 1966 1967 1968 1969 1970 1971 1972 1973 1974 1975 1976 1977 1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1984 1985 1986  1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019

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The Simpsons looking a little bit different in 1987

In 1987, Terry Waite is kidnapped in Beirut, Margaret Thatcher wins the general election again for the third time, in Hungerford, Berkshire Michael Ryan shoots dead 16 people and injures 16 before turning the gun on himself (this is the same day that whilst staying with our grandparents, my brother & I decided to go for a walk in the woods. We told our grandmother we’d be 10 minutes. We were gone for over 2hrs. Where did my grandparents live? Berkshire. Not far from Hungerford. Cue a very panic stricken grandmother greeting us at the gate when we nonchalantly returned),  hurricane force winds kill 23 people in South-East England, a fire at Kings Cross underground station claims 31 lives, The Simpsons first appear on the Tracey Ullman Show, a cross-channel ferry capsizes near Zeebrugge, Belgium killing 193 people and Dirty Dancing, Robocop and the film that would deter anyone from having an affair (and then leaving your pet rabbit unattended) Fatal Attraction were released. And I turned 11 years old.

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Yes, I know it’s about the 900th time that both the Smiths and George Michael have featured in my top tens, but hey- the heart wants what the heart wants. And it’s not my fault they were both so prolific and good (it’ll be the last appearance of the Smiths FYI). Anyway, never fear- we’ve got plenty of first time appearances from several artists this week too. 1987 coming atcha (in no particular order)…

1.Sweet Little Mystery by Wet Wet Wet

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Poor ginger bloke from Wet Wet Wet

2. Respectable by Mel & Kim (the first single I ever bought. Purchased with the £1 coin that my brother had sellotaped to my Birthday card as my gift. I genuinely couldn’t have been happier. I literally ran to the local record shop to buy the 7″…does this all make me sound old?)

3. I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) by Whitney Houston

4. Don’t Get Me Wrong by the Pretenders

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5. Heaven is a Place on Earth by Belinda Carlisle

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6. Faith by George Michael

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7. The Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson

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8. China in Your Hand by T’Pau

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9. Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship

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10. Last Night I Dreamt Someone Loved Me by The Smiths

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So easy to choose my favourite this week. As I’m at my happiest when it’s 2am, I’ve sunk a few Sambuccas and am dancing with my girl gang to I Wanna Dance With Somebody, it most definitely has to be our Whitney this week. Which one of these 1987 treats is your favourite?

And if you want more deliciousness from 1987, hop over to the wonderful Talk About Pop Music‘s blog on what songs they thought were the best from 1987 here. See you next week for 1988!

Just Another Book Club- January Book

Posted on by Hayley Beasley Dye

Please leave your comments below or within the appropriate post on my Facebook page. Please feel free to peruse other people’s comments and respond to them.

***Please be aware this is a book club discussion, so there is the possibility that my review or the comments left by others will contain spoilers***

Sweet Pea

by CJ Skuse

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Synopsis

Incredibly bored and ambitious Rhiannon likes to make daily lists. Don’t we all, except her list are “kill lists”. She writes a list every day of everyone she would personally like to kill and at times she is able to tick off that list. A childhood trauma, left Rhiannon a minor celebrity and it is through this tragedy that we learn how Rhiannon has become the person she is today; a foul-mouthed, deadly and dark young woman.

My Review 

What a lovely way to start our book reading year. I thought I’d throw us into the deep end with this shocking and graphic thriller. As the first chapter opens with the protagonist castrating a man and leaving him to drown, I knew I was on to a beautiful, enchanting start to our reading year.

So firstly, I found this book very easy to read. Yep, even with the shocking content of the book, I still carried on turning the pages and reading with ease (does this say more about me or the author?). It was the epitome of a “page-turner” though.

Red magazine described the book as Bridget Jones meets American Psycho. I think this is a perfect description of the book. While I don’t think I need to elaborate on why it’s similar to American Psycho, the diary-style chapters and the humorous references to weight and self-image certainly gave it an air of Bridget.

However, this is where the book falls down for me. With the author’s use of language, I felt she was trying too hard to be funny and shocking. Let’s be honest, I’m not one to be phased by profanity or crudeness. I wasn’t shocked by her use of these things. It just didn’t entertain me. I was a tad arms-crossed-you-think-that’s-shocking-you-should-hear-me-out-with-the-Mums-from-school-on-a-Friday-night about it. You can relax, we don’t go around castrating men or anything (not that I recall anyway). I think the point I’m trying to make is that, it reminded me of a teenager trying to act tough to impress people. I didn’t buy it.

I can’t decide if it was lack of direction or actually a clever ploy by the author, that my opinion of the protagonist was slightly conflicted. Generally, I couldn’t stand her and at times I thought the author wanted us to actually like her in a twisted way. My conflicted feeling about Rhiannon only came into play when I thought about her traumatic past that goes some way to explain why she does the things she does. It enabled me to feel a sliver of sympathy for her, but not for long as not one of the murders she committed was actually justified. In fact, I think her past actually just provided an understanding of her actions rather than feeling actual sympathy. I do feel the author partly wanted us readers to cheer Rhiannon on from the side line as she castrated a man (albeit an absolute wank stain of a man, who deserved a sharp kick in the balls and to be reported to the police), but there is absolutely no way I found myself warming to Rhiannon at any point.

What I do know is that she clearly wasn’t a well person. Now, I understand that a psychopath (and I’m not using that word flippantly), can function quite normally in the world, with many people not having a clue what they’re really like, BUT I’m still not convinced by the way the author portrayed the contradictions within her personality. The whole “just baked a lovey cake, now I’m just going to grab my knife and slice someone up that gets on me nerves” act was unconvincing. Maybe it’s truthful (I’m bold enough to assume I’m personally not a psychopath, so what do I know about how a psychopath thinks). I just wasn’t convinced with the way the author sold Rhiannon’s personality to us.

ALSO, I’m clearly not convinced by a lot of aspects of this book (man, I really am a cynical misery sometimes), but I wasn’t persuaded by the relationship between Rhiannon and Craig. They were so utterly incompatible, I just didn’t see why they got together in the first place. I understand, that the author wanted to show Rhiannon in an unhappy relationship, but I literally couldn’t fathom what they would have seen in each other at the beginning of the relationship. I think she could’ve been a bit cleverer about this relationship.

Now, you can completely judge me on the next point I’m going to make (if you haven’t already), but thank God she killed AJ off. He was such an irritating character, she did us all a favour there.

The ending was very satisfying for me. I would have been very upset if justice hadn’t prevailed. I also figured that the baby may have gone to AJ’s Aunt (as the next closest relative) to look after, which is actually quite nice after all the grimness of the book.

In conclusion, this is a cynical and bleak book. The attempts to make it witty and the protagonist likeable failed for me. However, I couldn’t stop reading it and it kept me gripped until the end. I prefer a book with more substance, but it was entertaining nonetheless.

February’s book is Hold Back the Stars by Kate Khan. I’ll be starting the conversation for this on Monday 5th March.

A list of all the books we’ll be reading for the first half of 2018 can be found here

I’ve finally sorted out my Goodreads page, so as a few people have asked, you can view it here

Top Ten Tunes- 1986

Posted on by Hayley Beasley Dye

Every Friday, I’m publishing my top ten songs from a single year and this week it’s the turn of 1986.

For previous top ten tunes, please click on the year: 1960 1961 1962 1963 1964 1965 1966 1967 1968 1969 1970 1971 1972 1973 1974 1975 1976 1977 1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1984 1985  1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019hqdefault-2.jpg

In 1986, the trusty Sun newspaper claims that comedian Freddie Starr ate a live hamster, journalist John McCarthy is kidnapped in Beirut, rioting breaks out in Portadown in Northern Ireland between Protestants and Catholics, Prince Andrew marries Sarah Ferguson, the Commonwealth Games are held in Edinburgh, GCSE exams replace ‘O’ Levels, Australian soap opera Neighbours is launched on the BBC, Margaret Thatcher opens the completed M25, the government launches a £20million campaign to warn people about the dangers of AIDS, the first case of BSE (mad cow disease) is discovered in British cattle, the highest audience of all time for a British TV drama is recorded on Christmas Day as Dirty Den hands Angie Watts divorce papers– 30 million people tune in, a Soviet nuclear reactor explodes at Chernobyl, Comet Halley reaches it’s closest point to Earth during it’s second visit to the solar system in the 20th century, The space shuttle Challenger disintegrates seconds after launch killing all 7 astronauts, FOOTballer Diego Maradona scores a goal with the back of his hand (“the hand of God“) against England in the World Cup and the films Top Gun and Stand By Me (one of my all time favourite films) are released. And I celebrate entering by double figures.

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In case you haven’t worked this out already, you really need to get used to Madonna appearing in these top tens. What can I say, I’m a woman who had an 80s childhood- of course she’s is going to feature heavily. Anyway, here’s my personal top ten from 1986 (in no particular order). Spotify list at the end as per.

1.World Shut Your Mouth by Julian Cope

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2. You Can Call Me Al by Paul Simon (so in love with 1980s Chevy Chase)

3. Caravan of Love by the Housemartins

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4. Manic Monday by the Bangles

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Another example of 80s hair magnificence

5. Don’t Leave Me This Way by the Communards

6. Panic by the Smiths

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7. For America by Red Box

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8. A Different Corner by George Michael

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9. True Colors by Cyndi Lauper

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10. Live to Tell by Madonna

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It’s so very close between The Smiths, Paul Simon and Cyndi Lauper this week, but I’m going to have to give it to my girl Cyndi. It always makes me feel emotional. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE? Answers on a cyber postcard below.

See you next week for 1987.

20 Best Cover Versions

Posted on by Hayley Beasley Dye

It’s easy to scoff at a cover version, but let’s hold off with the music snobbery just one second as some are worth praise. Some are even better than the original. Here’s a run down of my personal 20 favourite cover versions, in descending order. I’ve put the original recording artist in brackets. Spotify playlist at the end as always.

20. The Loco-motion by Kylie Minogue (Little Eva)

19. Dear Prudence by Siouxsie and the Banshees (The Beatles)

18. California Dreamin’ by the Carpenters (Mamas & the Papas)

17. When You Were Mine by Cyndi Lauper (Prince)

16. Brass in Pocket by Suede (The Pretenders)

15. Umbrella by Manic Street Preachers (Rhianna)

14. Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin (Erma Franklin)

13. Live and Let Die by Guns N’ Roses (Paul McCartney and Wings)

12. Hazy Shade of Winter by the Bangles (Simon & Garfunkel)

11. Smells Like Teen Spirit by Tori Amos (Nirvana)

And the Top Ten….

10. I Heard it Through the Grapevine by the Slits (Marvin Gaye)

9. It’s Oh So Quiet by Bjork (Betty Hutton)

8. Mad World by Gary Jules & Michael Andrews (Tears for Fears)

7. Valerie by Mark Ronson feat Amy Winehouse (The Zutons)

6. Tainted Love by Soft Cell (Gloria Jones)

Top Five…

5. Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley (Leonard Cohen)

4. Hurt by Johnny Cash (Nine Inch Nails)

3. They Won’t Go When I Go by George Michael (Stevie Wonder)

2. Respect by Aretha Franklin (Otis Redding) If you only watch one of these music videos, then please make it this one. Aretha is the QUEEN!

1.Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O’Connor (Prince)

So, which one of these is your favourites? And which cover version do you love that doesn’t feature in my top 20? Don’t forget to come back on Friday for my weekly music series. This Friday it’s going to be music from 1986.

Top Ten Tunes- 1985

Posted on by Hayley Beasley Dye

Every Friday, I’m publishing my top ten songs from a single year and this week it’s the turn of 1985.

For previous top ten tunes, please click on the year: 1960 1961 1962 1963 1964 1965 1966 1967 1968 1969 1970 1971 1972 1973 1974 1975 1976 1977 1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1984 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019

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Eastenders in 1985

So in 1985, the Sinclair C5 is launched, TV soap opera Eastenders debuts, a fire breaks out at Bradford football stadium during a match killing 56 people, the Football Association bans all English football clubs from playing in Europe due to football riots and hooliganism, the Greenpeace ship the Rainbow Warrior is sunk after French agents plant a bomb, Live Aid concerts in both London and Philadelphia raise over £50,000,000 for famine relief in Ethiopia, the wreck of RMS Titanic is located by an expedition team, rioting as a result of racial tension take place in both Birmingham and Brixton, 55 people are killed in the Manchester Airport disaster when a plane bursts into flames, the first British mobile phone call is made and the films The Breakfast Club, The Goonies and Back to the Future are released. I turned 9 years old.

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There’s quite a few repeat appearances here. There’s only two acts here that you haven’t seen before in previous weeks, but it does not make this week’s playlist any weaker. Also, please note how the hair has definitely got a lot BIGGER in 1985.

1.How Soon is Now? by The Smiths

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2. Shout by Tears for Fears

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3. You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive

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I kind of feel sorry for the bloke on the right who is lacking in the hair department. Do you think he felt left out?

4. Take on Me by A-Ha

5. I’m Your Man by Wham!

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6. Inbetween Days by the Cure

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7. Raspberry Beret by Prince

8. Running up That Hill by Kate Bush

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9. Crazy for You by Madonna

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10. Road to Nowhere by Talking Heads

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Whilst Dead or Alive are a close second, it’s Kate that wins again for me this week. One of the best songs ever written and those lyrics are phenomenal “And if I only could, I’d make a deal with God, And I’d get him to swap our places”. So, which one is your favourite?

See you next week for 1986!

In Celebration of Food

Posted on by Hayley Beasley Dye

Recently, the wonderful food writer and eat what you want advocate, Ruby Tandoh wrote a piece about the nostalgia of food. The simple kind of food that gives you instance gratification. That makes you feel safe and at home and easily fills you with joy. And most importantly the kind of food that makes you feel like you. She talked about Mars Bars and cheddar cheese a lot (girl after my own heart/stomach). Whilst, I’m generally in love with food 99.9% of the time, her piece rekindled my love of food even more. It reminded me that it is only to be enjoyed. That it is never to feel guilty about and that it is a privilege that I have easy, ready access to it. In honour of food and the simple, but wonderful pleasures it brings, I have written a list of food that gives me great oral pleasure (maybe I should reword that sentence, but Imma just gonna leave it as it is). It’s a very personal list, as what food brings you comfort and makes you feel at home, can only be unique to yourself.

Hot crumpets oozing with butter (never margarine).

Jacket potato with baked beans (always Heinz), cheese and yes lots of butter.

Seasonal strawberries and sugar served at room temperature.

Fried halloumi cheese, nicely browned on both sides.

Thin pancakes served on Pancake Day with sugar and freshly squeezed lemon.

Baked bananas with chocolate chips and mini marshmallows down the middle, so it’s nice and gooey when you open up the banana.

Mum’s roast dinner, with the roast potatoes done just right.

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Enjoying one of Mum’s roast dinners on Christmas Day in (possibly) 1979. Yes I am the rosy cheeked child and yes that is a bottle of Brut aftershave in the back ground.

Mum’s macaroni cheese with more cheese than necessary.

Homemade bread, still warm, so the butter slightly melts with raspberry jam.

Marmite soldiers dipped in a boiled egg.

Crunchie ice creams.

Crunchies.

Tunnock’s Teacakes

Hot chocolate overflowing with mini marshmallows

Fish and chips from the local chippy or eaten at the seaside in the wind.

Toasted brioche with Nutella and mascarpone

Fluffy pancakes served with strawberries and maple syrup on a lazy Sunday morning.

Pret’s chocolate mousse

Sweet potato fries dipped in Mayo.

Wensleydale cheese with cranberries on a digestive biscuit

Thornton’s Mini Caramel Shortcake Bites

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Cinnamon and raisin bagels with, you’ve guessed it, lots of butter.

Marks & Spencer’s Raspberry jelly pots.

Plain bagels toasted with cheese and marmite.

Egg fried rice from the local Chinese takeaway. Preferably eaten whilst drunk.

Spaghetti served in any which way.

Walkers Prawn Cocktail crisps (the Daddy of crisps).

Homemade apple and blackberry crumble served with hot custard.

Maltesers in the cinema.

Bangers and mash with really creamy mash, gravy and peas.

Scones (pronounced like phone, no need to correct me) with BUTTER, jam and clotted cream.

Betty’s Fat Rascals.

Moist chocolate brownies. Oh yes. Moist.

Vegetable Korma with pilau rice and garlic naan bread dipped in mango chutney.

Pizza Express Fiorentina pizza (no olives thanks)

Fresh warm doughnuts served with sugar and cinnamon. This one is officially better than sex.

Nectarines in summer.

Clementines in winter.

Dad’s green beans from the garden.

Cheese and pineapple sticks, straight from the 80s.

Plain chocolate hobnobs

Rich tea biscuits dipped in tea (most underrated biscuits ever)

Lemon curd yogurt

Fishfinger sandwiches (please ignore Em Linthorpe’s view on fishfingers. She knows nothing).

Chocolate buttons.

Licked cake batter off of a wooden spoon.

Marks and Spencer’s Percy Pigs (my version of crack)

Cadbury’s Creme Eggs (I lied. These are my crack)

Nobbly Bobbly ice lollies.

Orange Smarties

Green & Blacks Dark Chocolate

Toasted marshmallows, slightly burnt

Corn on the cob. Lots of butter.

Prawn Cocktail in a glass.

Wagamama’s Katsu Curry

McVitie’s Jamaica Cake

Pub lasagne with bubbling cheese on top served with garlic bread and a token bit of salad (and I always eat every single scrap of it)

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Enjoy your food and savour every taste. It’s a privilege.

 

You can read more about my thoughts on food and body image here

And you can sign up for Ruby’s brilliant tiny letters about food here.

I’ve been meaning to write this post for sometime, but Suzie’s excellent blog post here finally prompted me to.

 

 

 

 

Top Ten Tunes- 1984

Posted on by Hayley Beasley Dye

Every Friday, I’m publishing my top ten songs from a single year and this week it’s the turn of 1984.

For previous top ten tunes, please click on the year: 1960 1961 1962 1963 1964 1965 1966 1967 1968 1969 1970 1971 1972 1973 1974 1975 1976 1977 1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1985 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019

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Band Aid 1984

 

In 1984, Torvill and Dean wins gold at the Winter Olympics, the Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi is assassinated, the miners’ strikes begin, comedian Tommy Cooper collapses and dies from a heart attack live on TV, police officer Yvonne Fletcher is shot and killed in the Libyan Embassy siege, a Brighton hotel is bombed by the IRA in an attempt to kill PM Margaret Thatcher- she narrowly escapes injury, but 5 people are killed and 31 were injured, the Thames Barrier is opened by the Queen, British unemployment reaches an all time record high, runner Zola Budd controversially collides with Mary Decker during the 3000 metre race at the Los Angeles Olympics, Prince Harry (officially Henry) is born, the Band Aid charity single is released and goes to the top of the charts, pop band Bucks Fizz are involved in a serious road accident, Marvin Gaye is shot and killed by his father and the films Ghostbusters, Gremlins, the Terminator, A Nightmare on Elm Street and Footloose are released. I turned 8 years old.

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I think 1984 is another one of my favourite years so far. So many big names this week and our George features twice. So here’s my top ten 10 tunes from 1984, in no particular order. There’s a Spotify playlist at the end as per.

  1. Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham! (This video is pure 80s, pure Wham! and pure George- shaky camera work and bad miming ‘n’ all)

2. White Lines (Don’t Do It) by Grandmaster Flash & Melle Mel

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Is this the most perfect band photo ever?

3. Borderline by Madonna

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4. Hero Takes a Fall by the Bangles (watch the Bangles destroying the patriarchy in this video)

5. Seven Seas by Echo and the Bunnymen

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6. Careless Whisper by George Michael

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7. Smalltown Boy by Bronski Beat

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8. The Power of Love by Frankie Goes to Hollywood

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9. Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper

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10. Purple Rain by Prince

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What?! Now you want me to pick one, singular track from that lot to be my favourite?! When you’ve got George Michael, Cyndi Lauper, Frankie, Wham AND Prince in that list altogether, it’s not possible, surely?…but I’m thinking as I still can’t listen to Purple Rain without getting misty eyes, it’s probably that. So, can you decide which one is your favourite? Let me know below.

See you next Friday for 1985.

Ironing: why bother?

Posted on by Hayley Beasley Dye

Quite what is the point of ironing? I’ll help you out here: none.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not some kind of useless domestic failure. I love cooking, I’m one of those weirdos that actually enjoys cleaning and tidying and I’m a whizz at organising my daughter’s school/social life. However, ironing can just go swivel.

It’s times like this that I don’t feel like a proper woman. I’m fully aware that that sentence alone smacks of sexism. Just because I don’t iron, why does this make me less of a woman? Now *I* know it doesn’t make me less of a woman and you dear reader, will probably (hopefully) feel like it doesn’t make me less of woman. However, according to a recent study, women do all the ironing in 4 out of 5 households in the UK. Also, when 95% of my female friends all iron and talk about their huge piles of ironing that they have to get done, it’s usually met with either a blank look from yours truly, a slightly disingenuous “oh dear, how depressing” utterance or a hilarious suggestion that they should just get drunk to get through the ironing. In my head, it is also predictably met with “why the fuck do you have to do the ironing every time. What’s wrong with your husband’s arms?”. It is also met with “what even is ironing?”.

So confession time.

I’ve never ironed in my life.

I don’t even own an iron.

Thus, my child’s clothes don’t even get ironed. Not even her school uniform.

Yep, as I was saying. I sometimes don’t feel like a proper woman. Or at least a stereotyped version of a woman. And I definitely don’t feel like an adult, but that could be for a whole host of reasons. Probably best not to pull on that thread right now.

You see, I just don’t see the point. Ironing takes up a lot of time. According to this new study, on average, a woman will spend around 3,000 hours of her life ironing a pile of clothes that is four times taller than the height of the Shard building. Mate, life is too short for that. I can think of better ways to spend my time. Such as watching TV (yeah I know I could iron and watch TV at the same time, but call me foolish, but I like to sit and relax whilst I watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. I know us women are meant to be good at multi-tasking, but we really shouldn’t have to do it all the time), reading, baking, tickling my 7 year old until she vomits (true story, I’ve achieved this several times. It’s a mark of good parenting. Trust me*) blogging about why I don’t iron or anything but ironing.

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But aren’t all your husband’s shirts creased, I hear you cry?

  1. The state of my husband’s shirts are solely not my responsibility. If he wants pristine, crease free shirts, he can buy an iron and iron the fuckers himself.
  2. We have found that hanging his shirts up in the bathroom whilst he has a shower, pretty much leaves them crease-free anyway. This is how lazy people try and make themselves look presentable, people. Feel free to take note.

But don’t you feel guilty sending your child to school with a creased uniform?

Nope. Next question.

No, but really don’t you?

Look, her polo shirts don’t really crease and if they are a bit creased, they tend to sort themselves out after hanging in the wardrobe for a bit. Same goes for the dresses. Her pinafore dresses cover most of the shirts anyway, so even if there are a few creases left, nobody will bloody see them anyway. Plus, she’s 7. If you can’t have slightly creased clothes at 7 years old, when can you?

But I find ironing really relaxing. It’s like meditating for me.

Good for you, but it’s not for me. I find drinking copious amounts of Pinot Grigio whilst cyber stalking ex-boyfriends meditative. We all find our peace in different ways.

Sometimes, I feel quite alone with my opinion that ironing is the biggest waste of time. I know there are kindred non-ironing spirits out there. I just feel like either I’m seriously behind society with my lack of ironing participation OR myself and other non-ironers have discovered something that others are yet to (non-iron) cotton on to. And that is, there is literally no point in ironing. In fact, I’d go as far to say that I feel it was designed purely to enslave women to their domestic chores. I’m making a serious point here guys**. Chucking your iron away is as good as burning your bra.

So, are you with me or against me? Do you love your iron or like me, do you never touch one?

*Don’t ever trust me.

**I may be hyperbolising with my theory here

 

 

 

Top Ten Tunes- 1983

Posted on by Hayley Beasley Dye

Every Friday, I’m publishing my top ten songs from a single year and this week it’s the turn of 1983.

For previous top ten tunes, please click on the year: 1960 1961 1962 1963 1964 1965 1966 1967 1968 1969 1970 1971 1972 1973 1974 1975 1976 1977 1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1984 1985 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019

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Unemployment was in excess of 3 million in 1983.

In 1983, wearing seat belts in the front of cars becomes compulsory (though this didn’t sway my Grandad to do this), the CD goes on sale for the first time, the one pound coin is introduced in England & Wales, Margaret Thatcher wins the general election again with a landslide victory, Neil Kinnock is elected leader of the Labour Party, an IRA bomb kills 6 and injures 90 people outside Harrods in London, another IRA bombs explodes on Christmas Day in London, but does not harm anyone and Flashdance is released. And I turned 7 years old.

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Again, I’ve omitted a very popular tune this week and that tune is Billie Jean by Michael Jackson. As much as I loved that song and still appreciate it’s a great pop tune, I’ve listened to it too many times and it doesn’t quite carry the same sense of magic for me as it used to. So, here are my personal 10 favourite songs from 1983.

  1. Karma Chameleon by Culture Club

2. Modern Love by David Bowie

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3. This Charming Man by the Smiths

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4. Love Cats by the Cure

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5. Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These) by Eurythmics

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6. Blue Monday by New Order

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7. Drop the Pilot by Joan Armatrading

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8. Africa by Toto

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9. Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler

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10. Uptown Girl by Billy Joel

Another strong year for British music, but which is your favourite? Whilst Billy Joel is obviously a very close second, it’s New Order that’s my top tune from this collection of 1983 gems. See you next week for 1984.