Everyday Sexual Harassment

I’m not writing this post to garner any sympathy or advice, but in light of the recent sexual harassment revelations in Hollywood it’s so important to highlight that sexual harassment or abuse happens everyday. The majority (if not all) women will experience sexual harassment or abuse more than once in their life. Here’s a list of a handful of times that I have been sexually harassed to illustrate this.

  • The time a man walked past me on the street in broad daylight and grabbed both of my breasts and squeezed them.
  • The time a colleague in a meeting told all the other men in that meeting (our clients) that a video of me being “ragged” was available on YouTube for them to watch (I’ve seriously no idea what he was trying to achieve here, but it left an awful atmosphere in the room).
  • The time I was eating my lunch at my desk and that same colleague told me he loved seeing my mouth wrap round a sausage and then continued to sit and stare.
  • The time he said something suggestive to me when we were alone in a lift.
  • The time he whispered something suggestive again in my ear, so no one else could hear.
  • The time I finally complained to my male supervisor about this colleague and I was told that he was sure it was just a bit of “banter” and nothing else was done about it.
  • The time a group of men much larger than me tried to intimidate me on the street in broad daylight, in the middle of a city and I had to literally jump into the road to avoid them and they all walked off laughing.
  • The numerous times I’ve had sexual insults shouted at me by groups of men in cars or vans.
  • The time a man I did not know called me a slut as I walked past him in the street, minding my own business for no apparent reason.
  • The time when I was 19 years old and worked in a sandwich shop and my boss called me a “slapper” in front of a shop full of customers and colleagues. Later, when the deputy manager pulled him up on it he said that “I loved it”. Readers, I did not.
  • The time a man that I did not know, shouted out of a window that I was slag. I was walking with my boyfriend at the time.
  • The time I was forced against a wall at a tube station and had my sexuality questioned. This man then proceeded to follow me on the tube telling me everything that he would do with my body.
  • The time when I was 15 years old and I was flashed at by an older man masturbating on the street.
  • The time a man came up to be on the street, again in broad daylight and rubbed his crotch against me and when I turned around he showed me his erection.
  • And not forgetting the times that I have lost count of, when I have been groped in a nightclub or bar when walking past a group of men and the assailant would be safe in the knowledge that I wouldn’t have a clue who did it as the place would be so crowded.

Interestingly, only one of these assaults happened at night time. All the rest were done during the day and usually in busy places.

Here’s the most shocking thing of all. My story is not unique. I don’t just happen to be “unlucky”. In every case I was not flaunting myself or my body (though even if I was it still would not excuse or welcome an attack). My story is like so many other women’s stories. I know there will be women reading this and nodding along, thinking “Yep, me too, sister. Me too”.

Here’s how these sexual assaults made me feel:

  • violated
  • vulnerable
  • afraid
  • shaken
  • angry
  • humiliated
  • frustrated
  • emotional
  • so fucking scared
  • it made me feel that these men are trying to put me in my place
  • that these men are trying to make me feel like I am nothing but a sexual toy
  • that these men are trying to make me feel worthless

And in all honesty, after some of these incidences they have made me feel a bit worthless, but in the long term, luckily for me it has not worked. Sadly, that can’t be said for every woman who has been sexually harassed or abused.

The reality is that sexual harassment prevails throughout society. It does not discriminate against background, race, age, sexuality, size and so on. Your daughter, mother, sister, aunt, niece, wife, girlfriend, friends, colleagues, that really nice woman that just served you in a shop, that lovely nurse who helped you heal, that fantastic teacher who is great with your child- ALL have been sexually harassed. Women have been sexually harassed and may not even realise they have. It is a huge problem within society.

I don’t have any clever or innovative solutions, but I do know we all need to stand up and stand against it as a society. I disagree with some people saying we don’t need men to speak up for us. We really do. It is something we should ALL be doing. Together. As PEOPLE we should be shocked and disgusted and unapologetically vocal about it.

Incidentally, my post hasn’t talked about the times I’ve experienced general sexism, but then we’d be here all bloody night if I listed those times.

I only reported two of the above incidents to the police. I probably should have reported more, but it was the incident with the man rubbing his crotch against me that I thought “no more”. I wouldn’t hesitate to report an incident again.

I’ll leave you with this thought. As I said, most of the assaults I experienced happened during the day with people surrounding me. If anyone had noticed what happened to me and vocally stood by me, how much would this help society combat sexual harassment? I’m not blaming anyone who noticed and didn’t say anything, the blame heavily lands on the assaulter, but would it make the assaulter think twice about doing it if he was bombarded by people speaking up and not putting up? We do also need to look at why people feel the need to harass at all. It would be nice (understatement of the year) if sexual harassment wasn’t a problem in the first place.

I actually really struggled to find basic information on the internet about sexual harassment and how to deal with it (which is a worry and a reflection of how much it is just generally accepted), but Rape Crisis have given some excellent advice here.

enough-is-enough

 

88 comments

  1. angelanoelauthor · 4 Days Ago

    Hayley, you don’t need me to tell you this–but you’re right. Every woman has experienced these types of thing, myself included. The tolerance of these things must end. We do need men. We need fathers to show their sons that woman are equal beings. We need “being a girl” to stop being an insult. I think back to when women gained the right to vote in the US (sadly, not all that long ago). We needed men to agree. It’s not ideal. It’s not even right. But moving a culture requires every voice.
    You mentioned finding few resources on sexual harassment–that’s a shame. I have read articles on the sexualization of women and girls. These point to the source of the harassment; why it seems okay in the first place. The hyper sexualization of women in advertising, the double standards of beauty, the culture where our bodies are expected to be critiqued by both men and women, and more, does damage.
    I believe I contribute to this unconsciously every time I judge another woman or call myself “fat.” In my own small way, I could do more to reduce or eliminate a culture of hyper sexualization and permissiveness on the part of men in power to do whatever the heck they want. I can hold myself accountable for not judging other women or measuring myself against them. And I can hold the men in my life accountable for all the dumb (and hurtful) sexist jokes they share that underscore a culture where women are objects rather than people with full agency.
    In other words, I want to do more. I can do more. And I will definitely speak up when I see another woman subjected to this crap. If we don’t stand together, we all fall apart.
    Thank you for the very thought provoking post.

    Liked by 3 people

    • thebeasley · 4 Days Ago

      Yes, I can’t help, but feel how little boys and girls are brought up needs to change. We do indeed need everyone on board to make a noticeable change. Oh yes and that’s a fantastic point re the hyper-sexualisation of women and you’re right this does help make it acceptable to sexually harass a woman. It makes one’s blood boil just to think about it. We do indeed contribute to this, even in the smallest of ways, so the smallest of changes should make a remarkable difference. Thanks so much for your comment. It is also thought provoking. Now I’m about to bombard you with notifications as I read your other comments on my blog from this week! Thanks Angela x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Em Linthorpe · 4 Days Ago

    Oh, I am sad and furious reading this. And some people believe that feminism isn’t relevant any more. Yes, I actually read that somewhere yesterday.

    I think that if any change is to come, and I don’t think it ever will really, it has got to come from the men. It’s got to be a huge and strong movement, one that has no bones about it and bangs home the fact that sexual harassment in any of it forms is wrong, is disgusting, and that it will not be tolerated.

    It starts to hurt the head when you can list off the top of your head SO many instances of sexual assault you have experienced, and then, as you say, start to think about general sexism. And a lot of that will have happened “behind the scenes” as it were. It makes me so mad.

    Thank you for being brave and speaking out xx

    Liked by 3 people

    • thebeasley · 4 Days Ago

      Aaaarrrgghh! Can’t believe the “sexism doesn’t exist” argument is still being banded about! No actually I can! Yes there needs to be a major change in how things are approached and dealt with in society.

      And the scary thing is, since writing this post, I have thought of so many other incidences! And I’m not alone in this. Cheers Em x

      Liked by 1 person

  3. amindfultravellerblog · 4 Days Ago

    It’s appalling how this behavior is part of our everyday lives. Thank you for sharing these personal stories, we really do need to discuss matters like these so hopefully something can be done about it in the future! Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. SickChristine · 4 Days Ago

    I’m so glad you wrote this. I’m sad you had to. It’s infuriating to see how often this happens to women. Imagine if all us wrote a blog post like this, listing all the ways we’ve been violated in our lives? We all have stories, sadly.

    Liked by 4 people

    • thebeasley · 4 Days Ago

      Thanks Christine. It is very sad indeed that we can all tell so many stories of harassment x

      Liked by 1 person

  5. MindOverMeta · 4 Days Ago

    I love this post, Hayley, thank you for sharing your experiences. Obviously there’s lots of women recently come forward about that movie director. What has annoyed me the most is when I’ve scrolled to the comments section on news websites and read things like: “Why didn’t those women say anything sooner? They could have stopped him”. Er, no…it is NOT the victim’s responsibility to stop this predatory behaviour. It is the perpetrator who needs to stop. I’ve also read comments that suggest that women should expect this sort of thing if they want to get anywhere in the film industry! Lovely, so we should happily accepted being misused and abused purely to achieve in life?? Ridiculous! What’s even worse is that there are women saying these things too 😦

    Liked by 5 people

    • thebeasley · 4 Days Ago

      Oh ffs. It does my frigging head in when immediately the first thing someone thinks to do is blame the victim. Why aren’t people pointing the finger at the abuser first of all! Silly women. We only have ourselves to blame. He’s only a man with needs after all. Thanks Jo! X

      Liked by 1 person

  6. josypheen · 4 Days Ago

    Urgh. I have similar lists and when I’ve spoken to friends about it they all have similar lists too. 😦

    Some of the things on my list I didn’t understand count as assault (and even rape!) until I started reading about everyday sexism. It makes me wish all kids were made to watch the consent / a cup of tea video on your tube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7Nii5w2FaI

    It also makes me worried for my beautiful niece. I really don’t want her to have to put up with all the shit we’ve all had to put up with. 😦

    Like

    • thebeasley · 4 Days Ago

      That tea analogy is perfect. Yep, I’m forever worried about my daughter & what she might have to deal with in the future. The most depressing thing is that a list of sexual harassment incidents is so normal for women. We all have our stories, it just cannot be tolerated anymore. Cheers Josy x

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Allie P. · 3 Days Ago

    Unfortunately you and I share many similar experiences. Thanks for being open with yours

    Liked by 2 people

  8. fancypaperblog · 3 Days Ago

    Everyone should read this. You have made me remember many, many occasions that I have also experienced that were far too similar. Horrific. I have daughters. This needs to stop. I will be sharing even though this is a comment day as this needs to be shared.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

      Thanks so much Orla. I really do hope we’re all starting to find the strength to stand up to this behaviour for all the future generations x

      Liked by 1 person

  9. rachaelstray · 3 Days Ago

    Thank you for sharin this. More of us should feel able to speak out like this. I too have been palmed off by a male boss after complaining about sexual harassment. I should be able to interview someone for a newspaper in their place of work without them trying to touch me extremely inappropriately. When I complain about it I shouldn’t be told that said man spends a lot of money advertising and I shouldn’t upset him so therefore I need to keep my mouth shut.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

      Jeeeez. And this is how men in power get away with this shit. Bloody hell. Zero tolerance of this behaviour is needed, no matter what a man’s position is then women like yourself don’t have to contend with it. Makes me so frigging angry.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. shelleywilson72 · 3 Days Ago

    This is horrific to read, Hayley. You are such a strong person to cope with such abuse and share your story. I couldn’t help but think about my fifteen year old daughter as I was reading. If these things happened to her I would hope that someone would stand up for her. As with the other ladies who have commented, we all have similar lists and can raise our voices together to echo your message – enough is enough.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

      Yes we all need to raise our voices together. These types of men cannot be allowed to get away with it anymore. And I hear you re your daughter. It’s just horrific to think about.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Midlife Smarts · 3 Days Ago

    What a powerful post. I think the whole Hollywood story has made all women think and talk and write. Which must be a good thing. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

      I think it is & blogging gives women these voices without being silenced or edited by men in power. Thanks so much.

      Liked by 2 people

  12. thoughtsfromjasmine · 3 Days Ago

    This post is SO. IMPORTANT. It’s gotten to the stage where girls expect to be sexually assaulted and see it as a normal but annoying part of life, however this should not the case! It should never be normalised, and “banter” doesn’t make you feel vulnerable or uncomfortable in the way an assault does/would. We should learn not to normalise it, and to focus on each event and stop them in the future.
    Jas xx

    Liked by 2 people

    • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

      Thank you! This is the core of the problem, isn’t it? That somehow sexual harassment has been normalised & ignored. It’s just unacceptable.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Judy E Martin · 3 Days Ago

    Isn’t it sickening that nearly all of us women have suffered from some sort of sexual harassment? There are always going to be predators that think it is ok to treat women as sex objects, but as you say, we do need to try and stand up to these idiots. It seems as though we have not progressed much with so many ‘cavemen’ types still out there! Thank you for sharing your experiences with us,I am utterly disgusted by this type of behaviour, especially when it is put down to ‘banter!’

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

      Thanks so much. Yes it just being labelled as “banter” is so problematic. It doesn’t address how it makes a woman feel as if our feelings don’t count as long as a man is being “entertained”. I think we’ve all had enough now.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Debbie Harris · 3 Days Ago

    What a great, thought provoking and honest post. I’m sad you have been through all this, as have many others. It is not our fault as women and we must all stand together if this is to ever change. I worry that these recent Hollywood episodes will be brushed under the carpet after a time of outrage and everything continues as it has been with no major changes, I sincerely hope I’m proved wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

      I know what you mean. On the one hand I find it so encouraging that this is being spoken about openly now & that there might be less tolerance of sexual harassment now. But on the other hand I can’t help, but feel slightly cynical that it all might be forgotten about & that everyday harassment will just carry on. It is so ingrained in society sadly. We need to keep on fighting. Cheers Debbie.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Lucy Mitchell · 3 Days Ago

    What a thought provoking and powerful post. You raise some important points and it’s not something that should be brushed under the carpet.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Ritu · 3 Days Ago

    I’m saddened to read this Hayley, not because I am shocked it happens, or by the list of ‘attacks’ you have suffered (which, incidentally, I want to give you a huge hug for) but because reading this it makes you realise exactly how many of these things have happened to me, and people I know, and the fact that we don’t always do anything about it, because no one else is ‘making a fuss’. You are right. We ALL need to make a stand against behaviour like this…

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Love, Laughter & Truth · 3 Days Ago

    This appals me and I would have been very surprised to read that this was a routine experience for women until I read about the Everyday Sexism campaign. It’s particularly alarming to read as the father of a young girl. And as, you know, a decent human being. The more people speak out and challenge this behaviour the better.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

      Yes I think it might surprise a lot of men. Dare I say, some might not even believe me. It’s encouraging to hear that marvellous men like you have taken the time to read up on the fantastic (but harrowing) Everyday Sexism campaign. We should all most definitely be challenging this behaviour. Cheers!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Love, Laughter & Truth · 3 Days Ago

        You’re welcome and thank you for the kind words 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Love, Laughter & Truth · 3 Days Ago

    I shared your post on my Facebook page, I think it’s important that people read this: https://m.facebook.com/mwlovelaughtertruth/

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Gary · 3 Days Ago

    Powerful post Hayley and in this day and age very sad. I’ve read the comments too and can see how so called culture has affected women. I read last night a news feed about a 17 years old student walked home after a night out and got sexually assaulted three time by different men on her way home before a member of the public found her and called it in. Things like this make me feel that predatory people are still as active as ever and it makes my blood boil to here excuse like “Back in the day it was what everyone did.” No, that’s what a total arse does. Hide behind excuses to self justify testacles that need cutting off.

    Nobody should have to hide or make secret lists of abuse (any kind) and feel unable to speak out. The list of aged deviants seems to grow too. It makes me think around those must have been people that knew and did nothing too. Friends and employers and a great number culpable of “validating” it was OK by doing so. Despicable and words fail me. It is better that the topic is no longer taboo and that speaking out is now possible. I just hope that society in general can step up to the plate and start taking note that nobody has a devine right to invade anybody else’s personal space. Abuse, sexual or otherwise, is not on.

    I’m a tad annoyed that I’m the first bloke to appear on the comments board too. We’re not all like that and we need to be right up there saying these people are criminals and should be held to account and put on the offenders lists. No excuses. You did it, so quit hiding and take the consequences.

    Hope this goes viral and, as this is a personal account from your experiences, I find this a brave and open post that I wish (ideal world) I didn’t have to read. X

    Liked by 3 people

    • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

      Thanks so much for your wonderful comment Gary. Yes I read that terrible news story about the girl being abused three times on her way home. I’ve been hassled more than once on one night too. It’s rife and horrific. By the way, you weren’t quite the first man to comment. The lovely Matthew was, but only by a few minutes and your point is still valid- I’m slightly disappointed that only two men have commented so far. I did write it in the hope lots of men would read it. This post doesn’t seem to have gone viral, but I would love it to. Not for an ego boost, but to help open and continue the discussion surrounding sexual harassment. Thanks Gary xx

      Liked by 2 people

      • Gary · 3 Days Ago

        I guess he was posting as I was then! I think it might be down to not knowing what to say, especially with seeing lots of comments from women (and friends, well I consider them friends now) who share some personal moments. I’m well aware women’s rights have long been down trodden. Its not a lifetime ago that voting here was changed really. A lot of generation “thinking” still exists from times past. I really hope that will bleed out in time as new generations take over and attitudes change. That can’t happen successfully unless the discussions are held and people begin to listen and take note. IF you put this up tomorrow I will share it all over; if not then I will do it on Monday. I feel it needs more men to shout out too; that might start the changes needed, especially in the work place. I’d like to think its better than it was though, but there is still a very long way to go. At least its heartening to see voices can be made now though. Hopefully that will turn into actions and deeds.

        Liked by 1 person

      • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

        Thanks Gary. I will be sharing this one tomorrow too. Yes I think it’s generational attitude trickling down & do hope it will be better when my daughter is older. I really do x

        Like

      • Gary · 3 Days Ago

        I’m hopeful attitudes will bleed out as new generations move on. The old ways had some very strange thinking. Very rigid and immovable. Change didn’t seem something they wanted to accept. That’s across the board too, not just sexual harassment, but even down to children and discipline. I’d like to think it will be better when your daughter grows up too, I’m just despairing after seeing that girls story and the new snap chat thing about increases in uploads of animal cruelty. I do fear for society at times and what youngsters growing up now think of it all. Will look out for your post tomorrow x

        Like

  20. You Can Always Start Now · 3 Days Ago

    It is still a man’s world at times. I agree with you over we are all in this together – women and men should be standing up against sexual assault/harassment. What kind of man lets another man harass a woman and think it is okay? Would he be okay if it was his wife/daughter? I think not.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

      It’s just common courtesy not to turn a blind eye to someone being abused no matter who they are. Many thanks Amelia.

      Like

  21. cherylking55l · 3 Days Ago

    This is one of the most enlightening articles I have read on this subject. Add to the list of feelilngs “insulted”

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

      Yes! Insulted is a good one, I’ve also thought of many more. That list could really go on. Thank you so much!

      Like

  22. cherylking55 · 3 Days Ago

    This is the most enlightening article I’ve read on this subject. Add to the list of feelings “insulted”.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. suzie81speaks · 3 Days Ago

    This is an awful list to have, and it’s a common one for so many women. I have had my ass slapped in nightclubs, had a guy sit next to me and put his hand on my leg on the bus, been called names when I won’t give people my phone number, been followed… What’s worse is that it’s seen an a normal part of life and is dismissed as ‘boys being boys’ by so many… Awesome post – I really hope that this gets seen by as many as possible…

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

      Thanks so much Suzie. It’s awful and it is about time the excuses for this behaviour stops “Lads will be lads”. No, how about “Lads will act like decent human beings”. Sorry you’ve had similar experiences, it makes the blood boil! x

      Like

      • suzie81speaks · 3 Days Ago

        Exactly. They’ve been taught that this sort of behaviour is acceptable and yet I can guarantee that they would be incensed if someone did this sort of thing to a female relative of theirs…

        Liked by 1 person

      • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

        Guaranteed! x

        Like

  24. fattymccupcakes · 3 Days Ago

    This is the THIRD time I’ve attempted this comment, because my phone has turned against me since the latest update!!!! Ffffs! So, let’s try this AGAIN…
    You know what’s REALLY effing sad? The fact that I wonder what’s wrong with ME, because I haven’t experienced this level of sexual harassment!! Except for a handful of times I’ve been catcalled, I have never been groped or told disgusting things like you and many other women have. Maybe it’s the fact I’m a beast with a raging RBF, or that I’ve always worked in female-dominated fields, or that I’m simply lucky? Either way it’s a fucked up world when someone thinks they aren’t as valued or appreciated by their male counterpart, because they haven’t been sexually harassed like other women. Or, maybe I’m just fucked in the head??

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

      I think it’s a combination of me working in a very male-dominated industry coupled with living in city centres. I’ve really noticed a significant drop in sexual harassment since moving out of the city and living in a small town and I now work with only women. I think you’re also a bit lucky too. Nothing to do with your value. Eurgh though I do remember crying to a female colleague about one of these incidents and the first and ONLY thing she said to me was “well men must find me repulsive as I’ve never been sexually harassed” and she left it at that. Like I should fucking consider myself lucky. Now *that’s* fucked up.

      Liked by 1 person

      • fattymccupcakes · 3 Days Ago

        I agree. That is repulsive, but sadly, I think women have been programmed to believe that their self-worth is tied to whether men find them sexually appealing or not. It’s really a sad thing.

        Liked by 1 person

      • thebeasley · 3 Days Ago

        It so is. It would be so nice if that changed x

        Liked by 1 person

      • fattymccupcakes · 3 Days Ago

        100000% agreed!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  25. Hayley, I applaud you for writing this, here’s to more education about treating women with respect. I too have had numerous experiences in an era where unfortunately nothing was said or taken seriously.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 2 Days Ago

      Thanks so much Suzanne. Yes both boys & girls & men & women need to be educated as to what is acceptable and what is not. So sorry your experiences weren’t dealt with properly either x

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Jennifer · 3 Days Ago

    I was 13 the time someone grabbed my boob while I was walking down the street. I was 17 the first time a boss patted my ass. It’s terrible and it undermines your confidence, especially when one is so young. Have you heard about the #dearcatcallers Instagram account? A girl spent a month taking pictures with her catcallers. It’s sad to see so many men, across generations, race, professions, etc. And all thought it was fun to be in the picture. I think she said there were only 2 that she didn’t ask to take a picture with because they made her feel the most threatened.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 2 Days Ago

      Bloody hell. Any age for that to happen is horrible, but 13yes is just hideous. I’m so sorry. You’re right these incidents really do undermine one’s confidence. I haven’t heard of that Instagram acvount, but I’ll check it out. Thank you x

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jennifer · 1 Day Ago

        Yes, up until that moment, I was a little more free-spirited. Took me a long while (30 years) to get that back.

        Like

  27. Lisa Orchard · 3 Days Ago

    Sexual harassment is a problem that has been around forever and some men know how to do it without getting caught. There are many times women report this abuse and the victim is put on trial instead. That really bothers me. We need to turn this trend around, but I’m not sure how to do it. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 2 Days Ago

      I know, it’s awful when the victim is put on trial. It just seems to be really hard to make these men accountable for their actions and yes sadly they’re only too aware how easy it is for them to get away with it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lisa Orchard · 2 Days Ago

        It is awful, but I feel women are starting to band together instead of competing with each other. Maybe we can change this situation just like we got the right to vote. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • thebeasley · 2 Days Ago

        That would be fantastic. Agree we do seem to be coming together more now, which is great x

        Liked by 1 person

  28. weejars · 2 Days Ago

    Amen. Couldn’t agree more…

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Parul Thakur · 2 Days Ago

    Gosh! Such a sad thing that women get harassed all the time in some way or the other. This post is truth. Loved the honesty in your voice.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. blondieaka · 2 Days Ago

    I would say a sad sign of the times but it isn’t it has gone on for as long as I remember and I think because unless it gets really serious most women don’t report it and men think it is ok … I get it a lot on here and I have met some lovely men through blogging but unless I know them I do not accept friend requests anymore as before you know it the 20 questions starts and they get personal at first I just used to respond with the comment that any details I wish to share are on my profile but quickly realised that they weren’t interested in that. And if one more man calls me “my dear” I won’t be answerable. I think you were brave to write this and hope it gets widely shared and we all start saying hey you are not getting away with this 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • thebeasley · 2 Days Ago

      I’m so sorry you get hassled on here. I haven’t…yet. And oh my word- “my dear” is the ultimate patronisation from men. It makes me SEETH. I would like to witness another man say that to you & see you give him “what for” haha. Thanks so much Carol x

      Liked by 1 person

      • blondieaka · 2 Days Ago

        Instagram is the worst and twitter is a close second ….Ha Ha, I am very close to doing just that..Like you I really hate it when men say that and you are right it is so patronizing…x

        Liked by 1 person

  31. Anindya · 2 Days Ago

    Well….sometimes someone tries these unfortunate acts of crimes and get away with them……it is sad and deplorable…..the society as a whole has to come up with strict action against these violators…..and things like these should be reported all the times…..

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Gloria · 2 Days Ago

    Most of us have had our fair share of hasstle & unwanted comments. Some more than others! Will it ever stop completely though? 😶

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Oriana · 2 Days Ago

    Thank you for sharing your experience on this, because as you said I think almost everyone can relate to this issue. There are some people that still question the existence of sexual harassment at all, even women ! Once I’ve been told that “developed countries” already have women’s rights and that we shouldn’t complain because we don’t have it as bad as in third world countries… I didn’t know what to answer to that !

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 2 Days Ago

      Oh dear! We may not have it as bad as third world countries, but we still have a long way to go!

      Liked by 1 person

  34. Shweta Suresh · 2 Days Ago

    Yes. I think almost every woman can relate to this post on one level or the other! It is a problem within the society… one that almost makes me come to the conclusion that many men don’t know how to interact with women respectfully. It’s high time to bring about a change in attitudes. We need to speak up. #WeWillNotBeSilenced Brilliant write-up. So glad that I came across this post today. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 2 Days Ago

      Thank you so much Shweta. That’s a lovely comment. I agree we should definitely not be silenced ✊🏻

      Like

  35. Unbound Roots · 2 Days Ago

    Thank you for being open about your unfortunate experiences, and for raising awareness. Reading about the events that you went through made me feel sick. Also because I know that this happens to far too many people. I do want to add that this doesn’t happen to females only. A male family member of mine has also recently experienced sexual harassment in the workplace. His supervisor was the one who did the damage, and ultimately got away with it. The superiors did nothing about out it when notified. This family member ended up quitting, but has been dealing with the aftermath of the sexual assaults. He runs to try to erase the stress and mental anguish, he is quiet – more than average, and I’m sure that he is suffering. I wonder if his wife realizes how much these experiences have effected him – I’m sure she does. How do we stop these predators? The workplaces, for one, need to be more open and proactive. Thanks again for raising awareness, Hayley!!! x

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebeasley · 2 Days Ago

      Oh that’s awful. The long-term effects of sexual harassment are never considered by the predator. Yes, men can also be victims and it’s inexcusable and just horrific whichever gender is being assaulted. Thank you x

      Liked by 1 person

  36. Pingback: Guest Post: Me Too | Suzie Speaks

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