Oh my God, please don’t make me go out on a night out. Don’t make me go out out. I’m very almost 42 year of age and I’ve finally come to the conclusion, I fucking hate going out. Now, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t an anti-social piece. I love socialising. I love my friends. I love getting together with them for a gossip discussion about world politics and down bucket loads of pinot grigio enjoy a tipple or two with them, BUT going out into the outside world and rubbing shoulders with strangers just isn’t my ideal way to spend my spare time anymore.
I’ve been thinking about my favourite social appointments that I’ve had over the last year and which ones I’ve enjoyed the most. Every single one of them has involved being inside a home rather than actually being out.
1) A Halloween party- at a friend’s HOUSE
2) A 50th Birthday party- at my cousin’s HOUSE
3) A wedding anniversary party- at my aunt’s HOUSE
4) My Mum’s 70th- at my brother’s HOUSE
5) Drinks with all my Mum friends- at one of their HOUSES
6) A dinner party- at a friend’s HOUSE
7) A New Year’s Eve party- at a friend’s HOUSE
You get the idea. Love socialising. Hate being in the real world.
Advantages to socialising in homes rather than the real world:
- don’t have to queue to get a drink
- economically pleasing
- nice and cosy. Ooh I do like cosy
- much more comfortable. Call me boring, but I like a seat and a comfortable seat at that
- I can actually hear what people are saying
- not as much pressure to dress up. I think I’m done with dressing up. I can’t wear heels anyway and I’ve no interest in anyone else finding me sexually attractive and quite frankly, I just can’t be arsed.
- you get to stay in one place the whole evening. No faffing about, walking from bar to bar and as this is the UK- usually in the rain.
- don’t have to contend with being felt up at the bar. Some people might actually miss this special feature of going out out though.
- free snacks
- warmer. Your evening begins inside. You stay inside.
- More potential to have control over what music is played.
Advantages of going out out:
- I like pub quizzes. I don’t mind going out for a pub quiz. And just staying in that pub all evening. You know, a nice cosy pub with comfortable seats and an open fire and music not too loud. Like a home from home kind of pub.
- And I like eating out because you know- food. However, not too often. And I prefer eating out during the day really to be honest. A boozy lunch. I’m up for that.
- Going out in the evening is good if you like going out in the evening. I don’t.
Now please understand, when I have gone out out with friends, I’ve had plenty of excellent nights. It’s just that as I get older and let’s be completely honest here more boring and much, much more lazy, I like these nights out to be few and far between. Unless you’re inviting me to your gaff for a knees up, then I’d be there in a shot. In all seriousness, I really struggle to hear what’s being said when I go out out, so increasingly it’s just not that much fun for me. The best nights I’ve had out out in recent years have been nights out with just one other person and that’s probably because everything they say is directed towards me at close proximity i.e. I get to hear most of what they say. However, hearing problems aside, I do also feel like I’m a lazy arse when it comes to going out out, so I still don’t think I could be bothered to go to the effort of going out even if I could hear perfectly.
In conclusion, going out is shit and I’m surprised it’s still a thing. Staying in is everything.
What about you? Are you team going out or team staying in?
Here’s a recent picture of me going out whilst remaining inside a house. I thoroughly recommend it.
Just Another Blog From a Woman 
I too enjoy a boozy lunch. My husband is a Let’s Go Out kind of guy, and I have become a Let’s Stay in kind of gal. We did go over to a friend’s place for dinner last night, and it was AWESOME. Amazing Greek food, several bottles of wine, and I didn’t have to wait in line for the toilet. THAT my friend, is my kind of night!
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That sounds perfect!! Oh yes queues for the toilets are rubbish too. I think it’s a stage you get to in life, isn’t it? When you think, it’s just nicer to see your friends in a nice, cosy environment.
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Yes, so much nicer, and you don’t have to deal with all the others that just get in the way. My time is important and I like to spend it with the people who mean something to me.
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Exactly this.
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We’ve recently begun renting a a house and we’re in the process of moving out of the apartment now. One big reason is so we can invite people over and I don’t have to go out. In short, yes to all of this.
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Yes! This is also the main reason why I want to move house. We need somewhere bigger so we can invite everyone else. Why would anyone want to leave their house?!
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I’ve been a member of Team Staying In for my entire life. Going out is expensive, usually loud, and half the time doesn’t allow you to actually enjoy time with your friends/family. The one exception is visiting bakeries and escape rooms, but those are fairly fast stops 😂
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*high fives* yes! All of this. It is so overrated! Why are we the only ones that realise this?!
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First, what’s “…to your gaff for a knees up…”? Second, I love staying in. I liked going out for about a year, right after my divorce. Then, when I was happily re-coupled and we started to realize how much each others company was better than anything at a bar. Well, we stopped so much with the going out business. We did go our for dinner this weekend. Home by eight.
But, I totally agree, socializing is wonderful. Friends and family a joy. But public places- meh. *shrugs shoulder*
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Yes, oh I’m so glad you agree. My favourite nights ever are literally just staying in with my husband and watching a good film.
Haha, I’ll translate my very British phrase for you:
“gaff” = someone’s home
“knees up” = a social gathering
Haha hope that helps!
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I’m so glad. I worried that “gaff with your knees up” sounded just a little bit dirty.
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Hahaha. Now you’ve mentioned it, it does sound a tad dirty!
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I’m with you! I agree with everything you say here and I’m not afraid to say so. I’m also not a deaf old dear but a fun loving 57 year old who loves socialising….at home 😊 well said.
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Excellent! It’s just as fun (in fact even more so) socialising at home! Not boring at all. Thanks Debbie x
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OMG, too funny…team staying in one hundred percent Haley. Too old for that shit! 😉
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Haha quite Lorelle. I ain’t got time for it any more 😆
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Team staying in. I loved going out when I was younger but I’m over it. I drive now most places so I don’t drink unless hubby drives. I’d rather spend time having a good meal or like you say at a friends house!
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Yes Rachael! I’m so over it too. I could probably do a night out out about 3 times a year- absolute max.
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LOL! I love the picture! Too funny! If you did that when you went out it would be dope, as the kids say. I’m still on team Going Out because I have a job that kind of requires it at times, but I prefer to pick my peeps and keep my circle small.
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That’s the way to do it when you go out. I don’t mind the odd night of “blowing the cobwebs away”. Other than that I’m lazy 😄
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I think I’m more like you, I’d rather go to things inside than out? But I also have more motivation to go to something if it’s out haha
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Haha. You’re a juxtaposition of thoughts. It is convoluted sometimes though, isn’t it?
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haha yes – most definitely!
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I suppose as older we get as more we enjoy gathering together with friends at home but,i will confess my secret guilty pleasure:I still like to go out and party even late……it is the morning after I’m starting to have problem with🤪
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Oh tell me about it! Weirdly, when I do go out, I’m usually the last to leave! I don’t mind the odd night like that- just not often!
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I know it is an effort to go out but once out nothing stops us but then those cracking joints reminds us we are fine for a while😉😀😎
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Haha truth!
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THIS. I HATE going out!! I agree that socializing with friends and family is acceptable if IN a house ONLY. I just don’t have the patience anymore for people. I’m also an introvert, so…
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YES YES YES! I’m actually not an introvert. I’m a what is it- ambivert? But maybe I’m leaning towards the introvert side as I get older. I’m always losing my patience with strangers when I’m out, so maybe I’m best kept away from them. So glad you’re on my side with this!
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I’ve never heard of an ambivert!! It’s weird, I’m mostly an introvert, but sometimes some crazy extrovert comes busting out! Yes, the general public is just insane. Best to stay away!
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Ambivert is the perfect combination of both an introvert and an extrovert. Basically, it means I’m slightly schizophrenic & unpredictable haha.
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BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG. Maybe I’m an ambivert 😂😂😂😂
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Team Staying In, FTW!
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Oh my couch is so beautiful. Why would I ever want to leave it?! Virtual high five coming your way! x
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Totally agree with staying in. Going to someone’s house where I don’t have to worry about dressing up is always fine by me!
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Absolutely Suzie. It’s the best way 👍🏻
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Team staying in with friends and booze and board games. Also, can I be on your pub quiz team? I LOVE THEM.
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YES! Even better are pub quizzes within the home! You are most welcome on my pub team anytime 👍🏻
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I really love going out for dinner. But you are right, for parties, I way prefer nights out at friends houses vs dancing in clubs. It’s partly because I can drink more without worrying, and partly because it’s just more relaxing being with friends.
I’m also a big fan of pub quizzes, I’m just not very good at them!!
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Yes that’s it. It’s just so much more relaxing at a mate’s house than being in a public place. Haha you’re still allowed to join my pub team though.
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There used to be a pub quiz in London that had a cut and paste round. You had to make things out of tape and newspaper. THAT is where I excel at quizzing!
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Ooh excellent. Yes you can be charge of any cutting & pasting that may be involved 👍🏻
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Yeah. Way more enjoyable at friends houses than shouting at each other in a crowded restaurant. Pubs are fun for cozy dates w the hubster but a crowd makes me feel like I just hopped off a tilt-a-whirl. Plus I like to binge watch Kdrama while Wining & the guys at the pub won’t switch from the game for some reason.
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Haha. They’re so unreasonable!
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Brilliant Hayley. Enjoyed this. Guess what, we get to live in all sorts of different houses. So it is like going out on a regular basis 🙂
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Oh you have the best of both worlds. A regular change of scenario, but in HOUSES. I love house 😍
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I’m 37-years old and I have enjoyed staying in for probably 10 years now. 🙂 My introverted personality much prefers intimate, deep conversations with just a few people in a comfortable space to the loud, impersonal conversations when going out. Oh, and being surrounded by tons of strangers – I cringe just thinking about it. Love this post, Hayley!
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Ha excellent. Completely understand what you mean. Thanks Erin.
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I am definitely team staying in! I think it must have something to do with getting older and enjoying a bit more comfort! 🙂
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I think so Judy. I do feel like I’ve done my time going out and I’ve done it plenty. So happy to just lounge on my sofa now haha.
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Me too, – in my PJs as well if possible!! 😁😁
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I’m with you on this!!
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Yes excellent! I love that so many people are team staying in!
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Love this!
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Ha thank you!
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I went through a phase of enjoying staying in (either at home or other people’s places) but now I have reverted to going out; there’s something I really like about getting away from everything domestic and having a fun night out at the pub/s…probably because I’m a mostly-stay-at-home-dad, so going out is very important to me! The only challenging part is figuring out how to get home afterwards – we live in a rural village with no bus service after 6pm, so its either a train ride and then a 2 mile walk home or an expensive taxi. But still, going out for a drink beats staying in 🙂
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I get that. Who knows, it might come round again for me. I do find that in the summer, I’m more open to going out, but even then not often! I’m so glad it’s just a short stumble home for me when I do go out!
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When my husband and I reached our forties we came to the same conclusion – it’s much better going to somebody’s house or staying in. It got to the stage where on meeting up with another fortysomething couple to go to a disco/club, the guy said as we arrived at the entrance…”Why are all these children queueing up to get in?”
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Haha. Oh my god whenever I do go out out, I’m always thinking “look at all these foetuses!”. Another vote for staying in- yay!
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Absolutely, and why are all the female foetuses just wearing underwear?
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Haha quite.
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Reblogged this on Stevie Turner, Indie Author. and commented:
Oh the joys of staying in and not having to go to all those horrible noisy discos/clubs/bars all full of people 20 years younger!
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Reblogged this on Die Erste Eslarner Zeitung – Aus und über Eslarn, sowie die bayerisch-tschechische Region!.
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In my sixth decade, I’m a devout going outer. With the lapses in memory that alcohol induces it feels as though I too am in my forties.
I shall donate my liver to medical science, either that or to Hannibal Lecter. Served with onions in its own Carling sauce. 😀
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Haha or you’re doing a very good job of preserving your liver?
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Staying in where I once fully believed in party all night. Who says people cannot change?? 😎
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So true for me too. I was once the biggest party animal, who knew I’d turn into a home bod.
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Snap – you sound just like me 😀
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Haha excellent
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Amen to that ! 👏 Going out out is absolutely over rated anyways 🙂
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Exactly Oriana! So glad you agree 😃
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I love this post! I am at my happiest in the comfort of my own home, wearing scruffy clothes and curled up on my sofa.
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Oh yes. The comfortable life is where I’m at x
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So funny and what on earth would 18 year old you do if she ever thought older her would write this?? Now I’m wondering if you pack supplies for these house socials…the knee blanket, fights for the rocking chair, extra Horlicks (one hopes autoincorrect fiddles not with that one!). Maybe a few cookies to dunk. You have cats too yes? Lots of them…I hear from the Simpson’s mad cat women are in vogue in later years……
Of course on may laugh and joke….but…. 18 year old me is currently raging against the machine on very similar grounds 😱
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Between you & I Gary, I have been known to take my slippers round to someone’s house of an evening 😆 And that is 100% true. Oh and my life’s ambition is to be a mad cat woman, so I’m pleased to hear that I’m very much in vogue. 18yr old me would NOT recognise me in the slightest. I partied pretty hard from about 14-34, so I’m absolutely a-ok with staying in most of the time now. I’m too knackered Gary ha x
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oh my, dare I say it…you’ve grown up lol
I do feel the same mind, it does catch up with you and looking back I may have overdone it slightly !!
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Haha I wouldn’t go as far to say that I’ve grown up 😄
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not in mind…its the body that creaks lol
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Oh don’t i know it!
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Now that is so funny as I know a few who take their slippers and wine to someone’s place 🙂 lol
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They sound like my kind of people!
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right there with you. I much prefer a late afternoon liquid lunch, followed by some time on the couch and an early bedtime. The worst thing about going out at night is how late everything goes
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Oh that sounds like my perfect day. I just can’t do late nights any more.
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I think I am mainly on the staying in side, although going out has the advantage of being able to leave everyone there still out and go home when you get fed up with them.
Or vice versa obviously. That happens quite a lot now I think about it.
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Haha oh dear.
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Used to be team “Out”, but then something happened and team”In” slowly but surely crept up on me so that now going out is such an effort. OMG when did I turn into my mother???
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Ha. It happens to the best of us, Claire.
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I’m a mixture, but my nights out out are probably less frequent! I do love a boozy lunch and then coming home to my pjs. But I love a good boogie the odd time!
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Ah yes a good ole drunken boogie is definitely needed from time to time. Boozy lunch then PJs sounds divine!
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Yes, a good ol’ dance 🕺 is good for the soul! Yes, it’s a favourite hobby for me and my hubby
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Totally with ya’ on this. I hate going out. The idea of going out is fun and glamourous then I’m like, “fuck, I have to go out.” I have soooo much fun at people’s houses. Especially b/c our kids can roam around with their kids and parents can sit there and bs with each other.
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Exactly. New Years Eve, everyone’s kids were all upstairs (god knows what they were all up too. Nobody checked on them as we’re all terrible parents) and all the adults were downstairs chatting shit and dancing to silly tunes. Perfect night 👍🏻
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That was our New Years too!
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Ha excellent!
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Lol. Go to gigs! It’s dark, you can wear what you like, if they are less than famous bands drinks aren’t a problem. Never been touched inappropriately so can’t comment on that but I reckon otherwise you should give it a try! 🤘
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Haha. Gigs are literally my worse nightmare now. Unless it’s a nice, civilised sit down gig. I am sooooo very boring these days.
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lol. Not for me, cant stand sit down gigs. I want to be up the front moshing! If I go into a sit down gig I check out the grey hair ratio to work out if I should get ready to dance or just hunker down for the night!
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Haha. I’m all about hunkering these days.
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How did I miss this one???
And I totally agree with you!
Though going out to the Bash was an exception 😉
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Yay! Team staying in! Oh yes the Bash is totally different plus it’s mainly during day, so it’s a winner 👍🏻
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👍🏼💜
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Are you sure Ben didn’t write this?? The more of your blogs I read the more scarily similar it appears you are!! Particularly about the control over the music choices …
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Haha! He can join my #teamstayingin
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